All through an eagle's eyes.....

Enchanting Bluebells

2010-05-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder why Wordsworth was never inspired by the bluebells! May be he was convinced that his words wouldn't do justice to the experience.

What better experience can there be that surpasses a glance of unexpected blue mist that covers the serene woodlands like a floating carpet gently waving in the breeze with sunlight dappling through the leaves of woods that have seen and heard the stories of centuries?

And, when one ventures into the magical fairyland, the chirping of the birds invite, pleasingly, pleading you to let go, relax and revel in the experience... Fairyland indeed!!

Science, what a joke!

2010-03-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Life is really funny, and what is more funny is the realization that it is so funny! And especially if it is late!

With due respect to all the scientists, mathematicians and technologists around - does science deserve the glory it currently enjoys?
After all, isn't science just a chronicle of observations that people have made over years? I dare say a good share of these observations have been proved wrong by another set of observations. That isn't a problem though, because you are still looked upon for having put forth your theory.

Perhaps the creative faculties are all that count! Perhaps its the creative acumen that really distinguishes people. I can't seem to see the creative aspect in science. After all can you create anything through science? Does that not contradict the classical definition of science?

Is this one of society's age old tricks? Glorifying scientists and technologists beyond what they really deserve to be.

What is the point?? Is there any point at all? Was there ever a point at all!! It certainly pays the bills, puts food on the table and ensures a roof above. I guess that is just as far as it can get!

Hmmm, I need a cup of tea in moments like these!!

The White Tiger

2009-12-22T14:37:00.000-08:00

Friends, Indians and countrymen ( and country women, just to be politically correct!)

I have understood the much sought after sure-shot recipe to winning Booker prizes and Oscars. (Courtesy : Aravind Adiga, the white tiger! ).

Firstly,try all means and exaggerations to "expose" the "shady" parts of "India" - I need to explain - like one fine morning you discover that your colleague in office is actually a gangster with underworld connections or better still, that your posh residential colony was invaded by beggars over night (Ssshhh, now thats definitely an exotic takeaway..that by itself can take you to the top of the hot list.. When in doubt, sprinkle in some beggars! )

Secondly, please please forget that there will be others who have lived and breathed in the same city that you are talking about. Please, now this is instrumental. You should follow some psychic techniques to convince your subconscious mind of this and then, my friend, unleash your dark creativity.

Tell the world that air in Bangalore, Mumbai and Delhi bears the stench of gangsters and beggars right to the core, oh yeah, "bloody" stench, by the way ( vocabulary is extremely important, you will see!)

And last but by no standards least - shovel in liberal heaps of "fuck" ,"arse", "crap", "shit", "bloody" and anything else that makes you want to throw up your dinner. And if you could manage the combinations like say "bloody crap" or "fucking shit", then my friend you've made us proud. You are nearly there! I can see the "bloody crap" you've written winning the "fucking" prize!!

A white tiger - he may well be, but definitely a dead rotten one by my standards!

Life has become..

2009-11-11T15:06:00.001-08:00

.. nothing more than a quick succession of busy nothings!

Actually, life's better. Can't complain :-)

Ask, and it shalt be granted!

2009-07-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

Last week was hectic for her - as hectic as hectic could ever get!
The weekend too whizzed past, Sunday evening catching her hurriedly stuffing the washer with the week's laundry.

Much to her grimace, Monday morning was there, appearing unnecessarily bright, irritating her with its smugness. She gets up unwillingly - still unwillingly goes to work all the while wishing it was a dream and she'd wake up to find it was a Sunday, or better still,a Saturday. No joy, so she powers up her machine and goes on with the daily usuals.

After about an hour, as she slowly gets out of the Monday inertia, her computer screen goes blank. Not good, need to redo everything now! She tries a restart, but the machine apparently has had enough of her and wouldn't just budge. Well, clearly a system crash.

She calls the helpdesk, hands over machine, explains the "unfortunate" event to the engineer, he nods understandingly, she packs up her bag, and is on her bike back home!!!

As her bike glides down the steep pathway home, she smiles at the Monday morning sun, rather smugly!

Greeny Blues

2009-07-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

I look across from where I stand - It's all the same!

Endless stretches of little cubicles, stern faces, knit brows, eyes fixed on screens and fingers typing off furiously. Invariably, everyone here has a coffee mug, coffee stains from long long ago. The printer in the corner of the room screeches away incessantly. This is a crazy world!

I feel totally out of place. I wasn't meant to be part of this. I just wasn't made this way! It depresses me to think that this will be where the rest of my life will be, irrespective of what my heart desires! How I would love to be out in the open, in the woods, near the stream, by the lake, on the hills - uh.. just about anywhere but here!

I have no choice but to stare at what this geek stares into. "Indoor plants help increase the positive energy in your work place" - reads the screen.Ah, so I see!! Wonder if any one's bothered about what happens to my energy amidst these buzzy machines and fuzzy minds!

- A little unluckly bamboo plant who was picked up to sit indoors and ironically called "lucky bamboo".

Say Cheeeeeese!!!!

2009-06-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

I've often been told that a picture speaks louder than a 1000 words. With due respects to all the brilliant photographers around, my friend, I beg to differ. A good picture definitely is a piece of art and is impossible without an acumen.

But the point is - what did the picture manage to capture?? A three dimensional experience in a two dimensional stratum - And, sir - that to me, is gross deterioration in the quality of the experience no matter how many pixels were used to capture the scene.

While I appreciate photography and understand its importance in illustrating and recording events, I disapprove using it extensively as a personal record.

Well, memory has some moments etched in it forever - say like your first bicycle, farewell to your best buddy, your graduation day at college, your first crush, loss of a dear one etc. While you may not remember the exact shade of the dress you wore or your hairstyle or any other irrelevant paraphernalia, memory definitely has the capacity of preserving that moment - in all its fullness, it all its glory, in all its life. And clicking a photograph of the moment wouldn’t do justice to it at all. I am rather amused at people's frantic attempts to squeeze real lively moments into dead pixels - they sure do have a fulfilled look when they have done it though! Thats even funny.

Photographs are useful if you want to show a friend the kind of place you went to for holiday etc, but again, it cant get any more personal than that. People recording their child's first smile, capturing a video of their first steps etc. - Very sorry, I refuse to appreciate it. Wasn't that a wonderful moment that you had rather enjoyed thoroughly, instead of fiddling with your camera clicking it and preserving it?

Firstly, you failed to enjoy the moment thoroughly - second, you tried to kill the moment and successfully put it to the grave.

Fine, you may see that over and over and over again and show it to your friends over and over and over again.... But, thats nowhere near to have allowed your mind to have taken it in completely, experience it relaxed. No advanced technology is required.. We were sent in with a built in feature, you see!! Thats like a High Definition auto filtering high memory system that stores just what is relevant, just what you enjoyed and cuts out the crap.

Having said that, I love beautiful pictures... Scenaries can take your breath away when the right eyes have frozen the moment. Photography is undoubtedly an art - one that demands a real artist. Some pictures are powerful in what they depict and it is very necessary..

I would like to drive home the point that photography is a very useful and powerful tool, but it is easily abused and thats the point where it gets a little silly.. Say for eg., you went on a holiday to India and instead of having a good look at the Taj Mahal, you get jazzed up about clicking a snap of yourself in front of the monument, to may be post it on some networking site or sharing... That to me is pathetic. You may well take a photo of the Taj, just like how you would take a memento from there, nothing more, please!

The other flipside of freezing personal moments are it curbs imagination. Imagination adds this magical possibility and shade to the moment. It adds perspective and a tinge of individuality. No two people can imagine something exactly the same way. Why nip that lovely feeling?

So, the next time you talk to your five year old about the moment you won say an athletic event, you have two choices – Let your child imagine how you looked, how you must have felt and see his eyes light up with wonder, encouraging his imaginative faculty or hand out a picture taken on the day, extinguishing his imagination, tricking him into believing that the piece of paper says it all, watching as his eyebrows knit to have a careful look at the picture, picking up the irrelevant details and missing the fun and the spirit!

The choice after all, is yours!

Yes, Your Almighty!

2009-02-13T04:24:00.000-08:00

Never heard anything more crazier - Synthetic Biology.

Oh ye scientists!! Dost not thou haveth better business?

Synthetic Biology refers to both of the below
the design and fabrication of biological components and systems that do not already exist in the natural world
the re-design and fabrication of existing biological systems.

Now, this opens avenues that apparently are dreams come true.. but sometimes, isnt it better that dreams remain dreams? The research is now on reproducing bacteria... which poses enough problems... And I wonder, how can one regression test the damn thing?

Farfetched I hope and wish - but should the thing catch up - then, no more heartbreaks due to lost love - Just forget her and re-create a "synthetic her"!!

And, no more can people be murdered. I particularly like this stupid possibility... You murder someone, I take that person's formula and re-create that person again,and flabbergast you!

What's worse, you just kill the real hubby/wife and recreate another that agrees to you all the time!!! No one will hardly know, ofcourse if the synthetic spouse doesn't crash or something!!

I just wish and hope synthetic biology remains restricted to stupid science fiction and Hollywood at the most! Its too bad to be allowed to get real.

Jack and the Beanstalk

2009-02-07T15:19:00.000-08:00

The hubby and I had been to this pantomime last evening - enjoyed it to the bits!
We had an enthusiastic 3 year old near us, popping out of his chair everytime the wicked magician came! It was funny to see him all nervous with clasped hands, whispering prayers for Jack as he climbed the beanstalk!

He even ran up the stairs to tell Heidi that "bad men" were hiding behind her!!! That kid stole the show, really - kept his poor ma on her toes running behind him all the time.

He strongly believed that his intervention could change things in the tale - totally oblivious to what the rest of the audience said or did !!

Innocence breeds unquestionable confidence - indeed!! indeed!!

Spring flowers

2009-02-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

First signs of spring - the little cyclamen on my kitchen window sill has got a couple of new buds.. The little snowdrops on the pathway have little white flowers peeping out too... noticed it on my way to work yesterday..

Though the landscape outside continues to tease one like a mischievous pretty damsel in a foam bath - all under white, but for bits here and there, its nice to see these little cheerful signs..

Shall wait, shall wait... for her to rise from her bath in all her fresh beauty... to sweep me off with the captivating cheer of a naughty child...

Cuppa....

2008-12-23T04:54:00.000-08:00

Whats more than waking up to a nice cuppa, sinking in the nectar sip by sip.. and letting it tingle your nerves, stir your soul, cheer your spirits and what not!!

Only a sensitive soul can enjoy a cup of tea and realise the divinity in the experience.... came across this nice poem wrote way back by a Chinese poet..

Chinese are incredible, huh?? Lu Tong... You rock, dude!!

The Seven Cups of Tea’ -Lu Tong (798-835)

The first cup caresses my dry lips and throat.

The second shatters the walls of my lonely sadness.

The third searches the dry rivulets of my soul to find the stories of five thousand scrolls.

With the fourth the pain of life’s grievances evaporates through my pores.

The fifth relaxes my muscles and bones become light.

With the sixth I find the path that leads to the immortal ancestors.

Oh the seventh cup! Better not take it! If I had it the only feeling

Is the fresh wind blowing through my wings,

As I make my way to Penglai.

-Lu Tong, Tang Dynasty (A.D. 618-907)

Appraisal hangovers...

2008-10-21T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Yaar, appraisals ka kya chal raha hai?"

"Suna hai ki bohot companies have given single digit increments !!"

" Haan, my husband also told me that his company had ......"

Random voices I hear, as I am awoken from my short doze by a sudden jerk and mindless honking of horns - I just push the sliding window to assess the situation - not that I can help anything anyway. As though angered by my intrusion, a wave of hot air, loaded with dust is fired back at me. I am quick to shut the window. I look at the time, sigh and rest my head backwards on the seat.It would be easily another hour before I reach home which is hardly three kilometres from here. I helplessly resort to what the past few years in Bangalore have taught me - enjoy the FM radio playing in the company bus, oblivious to the sound outside.

I generally sit amidst the first few seats in the bus, no particular reason, just the habit. I've nevermade any friends in the bus, I've never felt the need to... I drift off to sleep effortlessly in less than 10 minutes - consistently...

There are some days when I ruminate about something in office or when a random conversation gets a little interesting, though not informative. Sometimes it is some whine about someone's mother-in-law and how meanly she treated somebody.. or the latest slimming centre in Bangalore.. or about the latest movie at the multiplex - the experience is similar to having read a newspaper supplement of filmy gossips, stupid and useless, nevertheless amusing.

Anyway, today the gossips are far from filmy. It is the appraisal season and news from here and there and everywhere has not been any consolation.

Well, in my not-so-humble opinion, the concept of appraisals are sadder than exams. Atleast one's potential had some say in the exams. In an appraisal, anything can get you anything.. If you dont have the WQ in you, you wont get anything. Well, WQ = Whining Quotient... One needs to throw a tantrum or keep on whining whenever you get a chance to talk to your manager and brainwash him or her that you are just the best and that every manager who appraised you before this one was a villian of the worst order who wanted to rip your career apart! Yes, I am exaggerating - but I guess thats alright... May be not, I chose not to care! But, I cant help wondering at people who establish themselves as critical resources and then demand just about anything... Well, these people are generally very good at work, no doubt, but their attitude!!!Whew... Whatever.....

Anyway,the bit of advice I got from my senior when I filled up my first appraisal was this... "Arre, sab mein self rating 5 out of 5 kardo... agar khud kam daala toh, kuch bhi nahi milega tumko... Aur haan... chota mota cheez ko bhi bada bada karke likhna..." It was quite a shock to me who believed I should not be blowing my own trumpet, and that my manager who had sent me so many appreciation mails will definitely know that I am a good resource. Anyway I filled out 5 out of 5 for all my tasks and submitted it to see what my manager thought. The outcome of that appraisal is better not discussed.... never dig out a buried corpse.

Anyway, I learnt my lesson well and I still fill out 5 out of 5 knowing fully well that I will not deserve that rating in all the tasks assigned to me - But then, the manager is anyway there to make sure you dont deserve things, so why bother?

Then, as it happens in any Indian IT company, I sadly became the manager of a team in sometime- and then I was having to make sure people dont deserve things.. Well this was very difficult for me, not because I am a saint or samaritan, but just because I could not get myself to rate anyone low just because of some stupid rule across the company that did not allow a good rating for many..... Well, I like those typical meetings, they are very funny - I was once called by a senior because I had rated 2 people equally well - This senior person clearly thought I was stupid and he was trying to help me make a decision.

"See, we cannot give an excellent rating for both X and Y this year.. You have to take a call on one..." - He.

"Er.. but they both have done excellently this year". - me.

"Ha ha ha.... Do you think we can give excellent to every one in the company? Everyone does well.. ha ha ha " - He.

Nothing was funny to me.. "Holy Crap.... " This my provoked mind thought, but my sensible tongue censored. Silence was golden...

"You should know whom to give what.... This person X does not have very good communication skills... He never speaks in meetings." - he.

"But the support he has provided for the application this year has been really commendable"... me.

"See.. that is different... you are getting confused...No no, this is not the way".. He looked in exasperation at another couple of managers who were sitting grim faced in the room...

Nothing was different... I was not confused, but I saw there was no way..

I am, by nature and choice, quite impatient and this was clearly not fitting my temperament.. The decisions were made, they just wanted me to agree, perhaps..... this knowledge was setting me a little uneasy.... A year's dedication, work and dream... all at this person's disposal...

I was looking at him blankly - that was the closest to diplomacy I could get myself to.

"Sundar, I think X is not at all communicative and never flags any issue to us..The other day he forgot to inform the client that a meeting was cancelled. What do you think?"

"Er.. well... yeah you are right.. I think he could be more communicative..yeah.. yeah..." - Sundar mumbled and avoided looking at anyone..

"Well, there is this email problem between our server and the client's... We later found that he had in fact sent a cancellation".. me

"No, nothing... We all send out cancellations all the time" - I was quipped...The e-mail server problem was the talk of the day... Now, I chose to shut up.

"Ah.. do you see now? Appraisals are not simple, my dear... ha ha... you will learn with experience... So, let us cut out X's name from the list...." - he.

"Yeah, with a bunch of people like you, nothing can be simple" - this thought of mine manifested itself as a forced awkward smile. I wanted to leave the room, but just stiffened up a bit.

"Well, then thats that... We have finalised the excellent rating list... Thank you very much for your time and valuable inputs"

"Er.. valuable what, sorry?" - this I chose not to vocalize. And I wish he did not smile like this. It was like a dracula trying to smile in all benevolence... I just left the room, mumbling a thanks, though I didn't mean it a bit.

I walked up to my seat.. A tea could do me good.. It was easier to gulp down unpleasant things with a hot cup. As I was walking over to the coffee lounge, I couldnt help glancing at X's desk and the poor guy was sorting out a burning issue in the production environment, oblivious of the time. It didnt make me feel any better. I decided to forget my tea and head home instead.... Now as I sit in the bus am reminded of a little prayer that goes like "Lord, give me the courage to change the things that can, to accept the things that can't and the wisdom to know the difference." ....Wisdom seems to have dawned and yes, somethings can never change - morale breaking managers.... and the mindless honking on Bangalore roads...

Disclaimer : Any resemblance to any person living (or dead!!:-) ) is purely co-incidental. This is a piece of imagination and is not inspired(!!) by anyone...
Am innocent, please!

Managers?

2008-06-14T16:23:00.001-07:00

Its surprising that deliveries happen despite managers, innit? :)

Come back!

2008-06-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

One of my friends suggested I visit his website and I remembered I have a blog. Its been rather too long.. I just wonder how much has changed since my last post... I'm married for a year now,changed 4 houses... i have had sad changes too, but I'd be better off not mentioning and re-living them.

Not sure if it is a comeback - I dont know if I am gonna write much, anyway!!

Support Blues

2006-11-27T03:37:00.000-08:00

"Dil Chata hai @ apna canteen 6:00 pm the show starts" - A intra company e-mail knocks in my inbox.

For a moment, I wish I was able to chill out at the canteen for a nice 3 hour show with my friends. "Thats too much to ask for, Arun" - my inner(!!) voice warns me.

I sigh and continue my work.

"HELL - HEAVEN traffic diversion - Meeting 5.00 pm IST" - My mail client sincerely reminds me.. Nope, I am not any celestial being dealing with extra terrestrial life, but a helpless mortal working in a support team in an IT services company in India. HELL and HEAVEN are IT systems, by the way.

I mechanically dial in, switch on the speaker phone and press the mute button - my frequent ritual.

The meeting has begun, apparently, for there are voices heard. Vijay, the new offshore HELL guy was desperately trying to catch the message encoded in the firang's accent. For what I am sure, he did not understand a single word, but with the intonation hinting it was a question, Vijay's response was "Sure Johnny"

Somewhat startled, more importantly impressed, and with a genuine intention to catch up,I ping Vijay on the local messenger.
"Arrey Johnny kya bol raha tha?" - me
"Kya maloom yaar.. Pata nahin.." - Vijay's response. I just smile wisely.

I increase the volume on my media player a wee bit while Johnny this time ends his statement with "... Arun?" He was asking something to ME!!!!!
Okay.. Winamp stopped. "Shh" signals to my junta around, MUTE OFF and "Sorry Johnny, Could you please repeat that?"... Well, poor Johnny did repeat, though it didn’t appear any more familiar to me than it did the first time. So what do I do now?
"Johnny, we need to investigate this one in more detail. Could you please send me the IDs of the requests that failed in a mail(my omnitemporal bait). I shall also forward it to our development team. I will let you know the result of the investigations ASAP". This seems to put Johnny at ease and he politely agrees. Somehow I get the feeling that Johnny thinks that I'd be better off at the CBI for the amount of 'investigations' I do. Well!!

Again, MUTE on, Winamp on. Things dont seem to need my intervention later and I just go in to say "Cheers" at the end of the meeting and sign off.

A couple of more meetings go on uneventfully..

Its 7.00 pm IST.

"PRIORITY 1 FAULT AGAINST APPLICATION ABC" - Read that as "Arun's Friday has gone for a toss. And if the Almighty is pissed off with him(which He apparently is most of the times), off goes his weekend too!!" - My heart sinks... "Not again!!"

And as though this is not enough, "Beep Beep" went my mobile ... Its Anjali, my sweetheart.
"Hi honey, busy??" ...
Oh, how understanding she is..
"Err.. yeah sweety.. some issues.. Should I call you back in a while"..
"No probs... Hey remember our plan today na? "
"Oh, damn our plans" - This I can only think. I haven't yet married her to yell it out at her.
"Arun... you there na?.. Arun.. "
"Err... mmm.. yeah yeah tell me" - I parallely start looking into the fault.
"Just thought I'll remind you darling... 8 o' clock okies?? Am gonna wear your favourite blue dress.. Love you Arun.."
"Love you too sweetheart.. " - Let her be happy for atleast one more hour and I be in peace till then.
Looks like the Almighty is not merely pissed off with me!!

"Beep Beep"... My work mobile .... "Arun, This fault that was raised has a serious business impact. This needs to be fixed immediately. Further, it is Friday today and it would be better to get it fixed ASAP as guys will leave office early"

"Yeah Steve. I'll take care of that" - And I sure do. I find the fault, and report it to the development guys. Its 7.45 pm. Now its off to the development guys...

I go on again to my Winamp. Anjali will call in sometime now. I think of her - she is not actually a demanding girl. She is really an angel who agrees to meet just once in a week despite staying in the same city. But then, my luck is such that something always keeps happening to break our romantic trysts. Endurance to even that was too much to ask from a sweet 22 year old. I need to take her tantrums!! I mentally prepare for that..

8.10 pm. Knowing very well, Anjali wouldn't call for another half an hour ( when ever did a lady on a date get dressed in one hour? )

I call her ..
"Hey, you know what, Anju... There's this issue that came up at the last moment. I am trying to sort it out as soon as I can darling. I er... you know,miss you .. but the thing is I need to get this done. Please understand sweetie".

"....." No response. Anjali was clearly upset - not that I dint expect this.

"Anju, I'll try and get this fixed ASAP and give you a call.. We could still go out..." - Dirty liar!!! I well know that I can’t make it. Still!!

"Enough Arun, I am fed up with this. Its as though you are the only guy in your company working. Its a Friday dammit and I cancelled my outings with my other friends just to be with you and you are totally obsessed with that stupid system of yours. What kinda crappy system do you work for that faults out on Fridays? And why YOU all the time? A dinner at a normal restaurant once a week.. Is that too much to ask??".... Her voice broke down into sobs.

"Anju... please.... you know how I feel..I too miss you..please understand dear... Stop crying"

"Stop it Arun, dont give me this kinda crap anymore... You be this great IT guy, who would give his all to his work.. Well, I am human, and atleast let me cry.."
"Hey, I prom.. hey hey... Anju...." - Anjali hung up... I stare at my mobile blankly for a couple of seconds - Calling her again is of no use, I'd rather let her cool down.

8.30 pm.... I am hungry, bored, angry, disinterested, yawning - in short, exhausted. A dog's life, this. May be I should have dinner. May be I'll feel better...I walk to the cafeteria..

"Beep Beep".. It was Dheeraj, the dev guy - "Hey Arun, kahaan pe ho yaar? CRs vagera raise kiya kya? We need to apply that patch immediately. Can you please check ....." .I didnt listen to what he said later on. OK, that means I need to forgo my dinner and go back to my seat. Ok, so be it.

Another meeting for the deployment from 9.00 pm to 10.30 pm.... And in the half an hour that is left, I need to call a whole list of people only to remind them to do their work... The meeting goes on ... and on... and on.... Looks like Johnny has had a fit of amnesia.. He is asking questions like he was just born yesterday... Anyway, I listen and the deployment happens.

11.00 pm.... Now I need to monitor this box for the next 3 hours intermittently to make sure nothing blows up. Now, that’s inhumane, and I in my own right decide against it. I will probably look at it till 12 and leave. That, I do.

At 12, I pack up my laptop and walk out of office. The security guard who works at night knows me rather well. Nothing strange, considering my atleast-four-times-a-week mid-nocturnal departures from office!!

No autos anywhere. I start walking - not intending to cover my 12 kms distance to home, but out of helplessness. Why dont these autowalas also have 24 X 7 systems... This is frustrating... Stranded on the Pune roads at 12.30 am in such cold!! I wish I were a 2 year old. I could drop my laptop, sit there in the middle of the road and shamelessly wail, at least. But being this "dignified professional", that was not even a remote option.

There my savior arrives - an auto. He slows down near me, "Kahaan par jaana hai?"

"Camp... Kayani Bakery ke paas"

"dedhso rupiye"

"Kya?? kitna zyaada maang rahe ho?"

"Vaapas khaali aana padta hai saab"

"Are phir bhi..."

"Rehne do saab..hum 150 se kam main nahin jayenge. " He is about to go deserting me(!!), while I hurriedly get in agreeing to pay his quote. He must be feeling triumphant. I let him be.

"Beep Beep" - My room mate Vish.

"Are yaar Arun, kab aane wale ho? meri flight hai yaar teen baje ki.. Taxi neeche waiting mein hai."

"Vish, tum jao yaar... Chaabi khidki ki pas rakh dena.."

"Theek hai.. khaana hogaya kya tumhaara?" - Vish

"Nahi yaar..kuch nahin khaaya.. kaam tha..isiliye.. chalo... chutti enjoy karo" - We hung up

"Kya saab, aap IT company mein kaam karte ho? " , the autowala asks.

"Haan. Boss, raste mein kuch dukaan hai to, roklena ek minute.Bas biscuits lena hai" - a tired me.

"Abhi barah baj raha hai.itne samay kon si dukaan khuli hogee.... tabhi bhi raste main agar koi dukaan khuli huee toh auto rok lunga" ....

I close my eyes and rest the back of my head on the auto seat...

"kya saab, khana,neend chod kar kaam karte ho.. Kya maza aata hai saab apne ko itnee takleef dekar? Pata nahin, hamein to ye IT wale bade ajeeb lagte hai..."

Well, with my mind not ready to contemplate on what he said, and my ego not permitting it, I pay him and walk into my house.
Its 1.00 am. I drink some water, change into my home clothes. A tired me drops giving my mind, body and soul to my lady who leaves me yearning for her..... my seductress - Sleep.

Just me and she...I lose myself in her and then I know not what happened until.....

"Beep Beep".... My work mobile... My irresistible seductress is abruptly pushed off.. I who am helplessly clinging to her is being forcefully pushed into an unwelcoming abyss of consciousness.

"Hain be... @#$^%" .... My sleepy mutter... I reach for the phone and with one eye squeezedly open, I look at it ... "ABC Application Manager" says its sarcastic little screen... "Abbe... $#$@$%.. " a much wakeful mutter... As though by reflex, I clear my throat and speak into the phone " Good evening, ABC support here, how may I help you?" , amazed at my 24 X 7 capabilites!!

Nirvana of a different kind?

2006-05-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I pretty much am thoughtless at this current moment.. I aint restless.. Hmm, no, not sure.I've been staring blank-mindedly at my comp for like almost 45 minutes now, trying this and that to get myself going.. Na, its not the after-lunch syndrome.. its something else... I look at my planner with almost 5 tasks to get completed by CoP.. Well, its this way sometimes, rather somedays.

What the heck is this blankness all about? I'm so damn blank, I can't even analyze this. Mind without thoughts - Perhaps am getting a taste of Nirvana. Not quite sure I like it, though!!!

Whats in a city?

2006-05-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

Ok.. so I have moved into Bangalore. The weather is good today, its been this way since I have come. This is welcoming - especially after the merciless scorchingly hot days in Pune. Frankly, nothing else has changed.

One relief for me as well as others - talking in Hindi(not sure you would call it that way when you hear me) isnt mandatory anymore.. Most of them are ok with Tamil, and a "Kannada gothilla" with a sheepish grin gets my victim going in Tamil or at the most Malayalam - which I can manage to an extent.

The other thing is that I've started travelling by the City bus transport regularly - something that reminds me of school and college.. Almost 7 years since I was a regular bus commuter.

And yes!!!!! I have resorted back to my favorite "The Hindu" after almost 1.5 yrs of being forced to read TOI.

Strangely though, I havent started missing Pune yet. Actually its an inertia of a different kind. I havent yet got off the "I'm relocating to Bangalore" bug yet... The unpacked cartons and the electricican popping in every day to give the final touches to the fixtures, and me literally camping in the house all by myself - all remind me that I havent still settled down.

The TN election campaigns!!

2006-04-25T02:11:00.001-07:00

Once again, the comedy show has begun!! What more can any disgusted citizen tell about the election campaigns and the promises made by the TN politicians.

Well, I was rather indifferent to this mostly until last week sometime, while lazily switching channels in the TV, I heard a "karuthu" (in the Tamizh nakkal sense, a statement made by one who thinks of him/her as a stud) by one Tamizh patron + politician.... Why the heck do they make this fuss about Tamizh dying and withering away? If Tamizh had life, She would by now be dead by this repetitive suggestive hypnosis!!!

Couldnt help a flashback. I never can forgive the TN state education for rendering me almost illiterate when I had to move out of the state for a job... For the first time in 21 years, I felt a deep resentment against the TN education system - deep remorse for having chosen Tamizh as my second language in school.. I was a student who used to love the literature and even used to have goose-pimples during the "Tamizh Thai vaazhthu" being sung in school every Monday. But, what is the use of all that passion, when it doesnt serve the basic purpose of enabling me to communicate with another... Relocating to Bombay was overwhelming - The crowd, the sophistication, the local trains, the rains, the heat, the dust. Nevertheless, it would have been a lot easier, had I known Hindi. I felt so damn crippled.. Felt grateful to the British for having ruled India for a while, I atleast knew English.

Hightime the TN politicians do something really worthwhile, other than yapping about making Tamizh universal and all that crap. Just writing potery in Tamizh to taunt the opposition party and glorifying the old poets and stalwarts is not going to fetch even a grain of rice for the poor and hungry. Lets be practical and do what we need to do to get going in this world.. Utopia wouldnt take us anywhere.

And oh ye Tamizh folks, there in the yonder land of foolish politicians... Wait not Thee, for if you wait for the state education system to equip you to survive anywhere in the country, you too might end up mumbling a feeble "Hindi maloom nai" in acute helplessnes just like me three years ago, lost, angry and desperate at first and resigning to my fate in sheer helplessness at last.

May be my parents werent proactive, but so were those of my other friends from other states. They attribute their Hindi knowledge only to their respective state education system that had Hindi compulsory till atleast 5th standard.

I am not able to relate to the Anti-Hindi impostition agitation that took place in Coimbatore,incidentally the city where I was born, 13 years before me. Paradoxically, I regret that Hindi wasnt imposed on me. Imposition was the last thing I would call for being taught a language that would have helped me to confidently walk around any city of this country...

When O God, will my people cease to get emotional over petty things like this and when will the politicians be taught to do better things than just parading their literary skills!!!

Gudi padawa

2006-03-30T05:46:00.000-08:00

Today is Gudi padawa here - the Marathi new year. Just went out to Karve road. The traffic was jammed because of this procession with camels and horses, with little boys dressed up as Chatrapati Shivaji, Sambaji and little girls as Jijabai etc.
This place is very different from where I hail. They still remember their emperors and some are even passionate about them. Ofcourse this passion gets a bit aggressive and bad at times, but at moderation, this was a feeling so nice. Felt happy.

I cant but help wondering rather disturbed, TamilNadu too had great rulers. Three renowned dynasties that spread across the entire state- Chera, Chola and Pandias. I remember the buses plying in the respective regions used to bear those names. That way, Coimbatore had its city transport named Cheran transport Corporation with its symbol being the bow and the arrow - the ones of the dynasty. That was when I was a kid. Then the TN Gvt, specifically JJ as usual thinking herself to be a stud, changed the names to TNSRTC. Why the heck? I always thought it was a nice way of honoring the ancient rulers.

We could only watch helplessly and TN maybe kissed her stars that it didnt become JJSRTC!!

Summers

2006-03-27T10:20:00.000-08:00

Summers are bliss... May be they hold stong memories of faithfully recurring vacations.... maybe my mind has it re-inforced year by year... Whats more than roaming in your housecoat all day long, lazing by the backyard door basked in the morning sun, with a book in hand, and chai in another....
Our kitchen opened into the backyard, and I felt that was the romantic place ever..
the sound of the mixer preparing coconut chutney, the cooker whistling its way with bubbling sambar inside, my granma's grumbling at the maid... interspersed with the birds chirping and the eucalyptus tree's leaves rustling... and me imbibing all this along with Nancy Drew... :-)

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I’d always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Guess the power of repetition is but undebatable.. Why else would my heart still sing in summers as I make my way to work along the polluted Pune roads knowing fully well that the day holds nothing more than the mundane document reviews and the ususal whatevers. Why does my heart still skip a beat when I step out of the monotonously sophisticated office in the evening to feel the soothing cool summer breeze caress my very being. Feels like a kid running into her sweet mother's open arms, after a psychological assault - no exaggerations!!