Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The White Tiger

Friends, Indians and countrymen ( and country women, just to be politically correct!)

I have understood the much sought after sure-shot recipe to winning Booker prizes and Oscars. (Courtesy : Aravind Adiga, the white tiger! ).

Firstly,try all means and exaggerations to "expose" the "shady" parts of "India" - I need to explain - like one fine morning you discover that your colleague in office is actually a gangster with underworld connections or better still, that your posh residential colony was invaded by beggars over night (Ssshhh, now thats definitely an exotic takeaway..that by itself can take you to the top of the hot list.. When in doubt, sprinkle in some beggars! )

Secondly, please please forget that there will be others who have lived and breathed in the same city that you are talking about. Please, now this is instrumental. You should follow some psychic techniques to convince your subconscious mind of this and then, my friend, unleash your dark creativity.

Tell the world that air in Bangalore, Mumbai and Delhi bears the stench of gangsters and beggars right to the core, oh yeah, "bloody" stench, by the way ( vocabulary is extremely important, you will see!)

And last but by no standards least - shovel in liberal heaps of "fuck" ,"arse", "crap", "shit", "bloody" and anything else that makes you want to throw up your dinner. And if you could manage the combinations like say "bloody crap" or "fucking shit", then my friend you've made us proud. You are nearly there! I can see the "bloody crap" you've written winning the "fucking" prize!!

A white tiger - he may well be, but definitely a dead rotten one by my standards!